As the temperature rises here in Germany, so does the famous
European stench known as B.O. Confined areas such as buses and trains are a
special treat to your sinuses. I have two choices: take the risk of passing out
and hold my breath the entire ride, or try and endure the painful burning
sensation that fills my nasal cavity. It’s what we like to consider a win-win.
Well I really don't know where to go with this letter. In fact, I have been
dreading having to write it for the first time. My mom wrote me last week and
said, "If this is going to be a particularly hard week, know that we are praying
extra hard for you!" Well she has never said anything like that exactly,
but I remember thinking that it was going to be a great week and finding her
comment odd. Well.....mothers do know best don’t they! Unfortunately, this week
has been the hardest one yet, no doubt. I have a fear that my email will come
across negative and I don’t want that. I will try and focus on the good that
has happened this week, but I also want to be honest and will inform you all of
the hardships.
Before I came on my mission, if asked what my biggest fear was, I would
immediately respond with "Companions!" There was two types of
companions I feared the most- first having one that was very un obedient and
put me in situations that were not okay, and the second, someone who was
extremely lazy and did not want to leave the apartment. Well I am happy to
report that I have officially had both! haha. I have really been struggling the
last month with my companion. It started weeks ago but has progressively gotten
worse. I did my best to ignore and focus on myself and remain faithful and
obedient. Through that I was still able to see miracles and continue to see
miracles. My companion on the other hand, doesn't want to be here anymore. She
became a trainer in efforts to help motivate her. Unfortunately it didn’t work
and it has come to peak this past week. I will fill you in more later but I
will give you the teaser of....."Do you need an emergency transfer"-
My mission president
Okay so Tuesday started out very special. We had a district activity where we
went to the mountain that Thomas S. Monson gave the dedicatory prayer for our
mission. It is gorgeous up there with an incredible view! There are 6 elders, myself
and my companion, and a pair of couple missionaries in my District. We had a
Devotional and a testimony meeting on the mountain top. I was so filled with the
spirit and just ready to take on the day. My companion however, felt
differently and insisted that we go home. After an entire day once again stuck
in our apartment, I finally cracked a little. I got really frustrated at the
fact that I have been in Germany a month and don’t feel like I speak any better
German than when I left the MTC. I got frustrated feeling like there was so
much that I didn’t know about the mission in general that I feel I am just not
getting from my trainer.
The frustration carried over to Wednesday morning and before District Meeting I
asked for a blessing. Some of the things it said were, “You will experience
many trials at the beginning of your mission. But it is important for you to
know that god has prepared you for very specific things in your first area of
Dresden. This is an area that will be a part of you for the rest of your life. There
are things that have been waiting for you to arrive for. God has prepared
something special for you here." Well to answer your question Alex, it
happened finally, I cried. Just a little bit, but it still happened.
At district meeting they made me American cake....yay!! It was heaven in my
mouth! The birthday surprises for Wednesday didn't stop there either. Right
after district meeting a less active girl named Danita had a picnic for me in
the park! She is so sweet! She got me a gift and brought a ton of food. Elina
the girl who gets baptized this Friday also came with a gift. I honestly feel
so loved by the people of Dresden. And here I am the one that is supposed to be
serving them!!
Thursday, was my birthday first and foremost :), but tauches (exchanges) as
well! I can’t even tell you how nervous I was for my first tausch! I am so
insecure about my language ability, that I was nervous to put a burden on
some poor sister When I got the call Tuesday night that I would be going to
Leipzig and serving with S. Martinz, my fear managed to increase. My companion
told me this was her last transfer and that she was from Austria....my first thoughts,
great I won’t be able to talk to her AND I am going to ruin her last tausch.
So, unlike most birthdays I woke up less than excited for the day to start. The
time came for all the sisters in our Zone to meet together. We all come
together in one place and then disperse to the various towns and cities. When I
was informed that the Leipzig sisters train was late and that I had an
additional 26 minutes, I was overjoyed. It gave me time to talk and get to know
some of the other sisters better. But, way to quickly, each one of the precious
26 minutes was gone. She came up and gave me a huge hug and started speaking
perfect English.....one word, relief. The next thing I knew we were on our 2hr
journey. We talked the entire time. She is freaking awesome!
Right when we got to Leipzig it was straight to work....something I have been
longing for! We met with some really cool investigators and even put a family
on baptismal date! When we got back to the apartment, Sister Martinz had a
surprise up her sleeve for my birthday. Get this....she made a little campfire
out of a pineapple can and we roasted marshmallows on the deck! Let me just
paint this picture for you.....Outside on the deck, perfect night, stars are
out, beautiful scenery, she is playing her guitar, and I am roasting a
mallow......It just doesn’t get better than that!
I only got a short time with S. Martinz but I learned so much from her. She is
truly an incredible missionary. So much knowledge and so much strength. Her
companions are lucky! Plus, I found out this isn’t her last transfer she has
one more.....what I would give to be able to work with her before she went
home!
Heavenly Father knew I needed her for tauches. He is very aware of me and
Thursday he showed that in so many ways. I feel like it was a pretty good
birthday present from the man upstairs!
The next day was zone conferences. It was a long 6hrs of listening to people
talk but a very uplifting time! I was asked to bear my testimony in German, it
went pretty well! This was also the day that my companion agreed that she
needed to talk to President about all of her issues she is having. I asked her
about it and she said she had. I was excited to hear what he said and also very
excited to get the long awaited packages and letters! Thank you so much they
are fantastic!! Well back to the story ha, on the train ride home I asked her
how it went. She admitted that she didn’t really talk to president. This was
not at all what I wanted to hear. That night once again, despite my protest, we
ended up at home not doing anything. All I wrote in my journal on Friday was,
"I am about to flip."
Well Saturday is when the flip happened. I woke up that morning and had studied
really hard and prayed about where we should do finding that day. I got the
impression and it was go time, or I thought it was anyway. We got to the
building and I felt impressed that floor 12 was where the gold we needed to
find was. I rang the first door and turned to what I thought would be my
companion, but instead found nobody. I walked back towards the elevator and she
was sitting on the floor. Our conversation went a little like this....
"What the crap are you doing?"-me "I'm done. I don’t want
to."-companion "You are calling president right now than because I am
going ape." "You know I don’t
understand that kind of English." Well she called the president and told
him everything. He had no idea how bad it was. He asked to talk to me and
asked, "Sister Linford, this sounds awful. Do you need an emergency
transfer? I know transfer calls are in a week, but it might be something that
needs to happen." I assured him that I could wait a week. He insisted that
we do an extra exchange for the week though, and this time a 2day
exchange. The rest of the day was spent in the apartment with my
companion feeling once again too overwhelmed to work. Yesterday was the same.
As frustrating as this whole thing is. I know that heavenly father is very
aware of me. He knows that I am doing everything I can. He knows that I have a
strong desire to work. And even though I have been beyond frustrated this last
week, he is taking care of me.
I am scared for what the transfer call is going to bring this week. I am scared
that I am going to have to take over Dresden as a first transfer golden and be
expected to know the area for my new companion. I am scared to leave Dresden,
because I love it here so much and feel like there is so much more I want to do
here. I am freaking petrified that I might have to stay with my companion, even
though it is highly unlikely. But in my fear I found a scripture and as always
I found the answer I needed in them, "Be strong and of good courage, be
not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord they God is with thee
withersoever thou goest...."´Joshua 1:9
It really made me think of Christ. Missionary work is not easy because it's not
easy to obtain salvation. It was never easy for Christ. All those that want to
come to know the price he paid, will have to pay a price. Christ himself even
asked if the cup could pass from Him and if there was an easier way. I have
found myself doing the same this week. However, I am learning to let the
Atonement carry me. I know that Christ can fix our hearts and dry our tears. He
is there for us, we just need to go to him.
I am excited next week to be able to update you with much more uplifting news
:). I love all of you and I have felt your prayers with me especially this
week. Thanks for all the love and support!!
Sister Linford
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